In all honesty, I haven't been okay. I've been busy with so many things and offerring for everything, wanting to do everything and anything and in the whole hecticness of it, I seem to have forgotten about the most basic and yet essential thing which is rest. And somehow, I seemed to have lost myself in the craziness of life.

I've been doing everything and anything and as Sis Shufen says, I've been spreading myself and my time out too thin that in the end, the results that I get from what I do are only very superficial and not in depth because I don't have the time to delve deeper into the things I commit myself too.

This whole year, I've been busy with school, debate, skating, church commitments, family, friends and b@s and in the end I didnt have time to rest and now as the year is coming to an end, I feel so burned and so worn out. And as I start to look forward to next year, I daren't even look. I spent last night thinking about O levels, about next year and the future and I was so darn scared that I started crying. And I realised that its because I've been relying too much on myself, and I forgot that it's Gods strength that I need. And that I've been looking at tomorrow wtih my own eyes and not through God's pla which is why I was scared shit. (Pardon the language, but its cos of the lack of better choice of words) Thank you, Gideon Goh for helping me to realise that! I really appreciate it and I know that I didnt make things easy for you, but thank you very very much! And like you said, breakthrough will come and breakthrough came.

I was sending my maid off to the airport for her holiday home and then God spoke through the songs that were playing in the car and I was crying the whole ride home because I realised how painful it is when you do everything by yourself and I finally realised that I cannot do it on my own and that I need God.

Right now, I cannot say that I do not fear the future holds. I am still afraid, I am still worried, but I've learnt and Im learning how to commit it into God's hands once again. I'll be flying off to Europe on Thurs. It will be a good break there, a good time to spend TAWG. I hope that there, I will find myself again.

(Oh and please do not call or sms me unnecessarily after Thurs midnight! People somehow love to call & sms me a lot when Im away!)

Until I feel ready to take time to stop & remember the love again, you can drop by
www.readyset-glo.tumblr.com
its where I will blog for now because I like the sound of the url, but I will be back here again!

XOXO